Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
