Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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