Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drake has all the answers
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
