did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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