sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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