Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
