...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
