I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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