Tell her she can't have a vagina
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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