dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize