My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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