is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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