OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
