we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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