Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So apparently I’m into choking now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
