i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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