My cat gives me a boner
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
