Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
