I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
