Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
