Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
