I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
