you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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