What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
