Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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