you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
