Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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