he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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