Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
