I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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