Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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