He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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