Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
