I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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