508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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