I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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