So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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