man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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