Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize