the condom got lost in my hair
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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