my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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