what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
