He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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