that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We named our party play list daddy issues
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
