Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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