I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
