Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
