I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Shame - the story of my life.
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