What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
