Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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