guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
