Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
