OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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