u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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