Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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