those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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