I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
