Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
