he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
