i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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