I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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