I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How external is "for external use only"?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
